I got to school early not knowing that my only class for today was CANCELLED! fml.

My weekend can't get any better than this.

My friday was bittersweet. My aunt & cousin left... To Montreal they go :( it was nice having them for 2 weeks. Man, that passed by fast! The power's out last night for an hour or so & i think because my tv switched off all of a sudden it broke the light bulb inside my tv that now it's broken. Today, I thought my power's out again cause while i was watching tv.. it turned off all of a sudden. AGAIN. which also pissed me off cause i was watching a good episode of criminal minds.. so i asked the people downstairs to help me & he said the tv is broken ..WTF! My weekend fucking suck balls! I want monday to come now.

Shows how stupid americans are!

Fear of Failure.

The fear keeps building as the failures & embarrassment add up over high school. I'm so scared to fail but I keep thinking that I will fail because all my high school years, I've been failing. Whenever I get a passed, a good 50%.. I'm satisfied or even if I failed, I don't give a crap but I can't keep doing this. I really want to get something I actually earned.. that I worked for. I'm scared that even how much I studied . how much I tried. I'll still fail. I feel like how much I read, took notes & do the practice tests.. It doesn't seem to absorb in my freaking head.

badmood.

i'm a fucking failure -.- fml!

Longest road.

Summer's over and i thought things would be back to normal. I would never have thought things would be to the point where i need to avoid certain people. i'm trying here.. I'm trying but you need to give me space & time. i'm trying to pretend that this have never happened because i want us to be okay again. I want you to move on. I want how we were when we first met, before all of this drama. I want awkward moments to be OVER. Sorry if i ever hurt you.

FUCK PUBLIC SPEAKING.

urgh, I don't want to go to school tomorrow because I have to present my speech. I can't do public speaking. EEP. fuck. I get so nervous!... I want to stay home and cuddle up on my bed ALLLLLL day and never leave!!!! hahaha.. yeah not going to happen. Back to reality. I am gonna go write my speech now. ciao

SLY♥

Stupid Can I.

I can't sleep & why.. BECAUSE;
I regret slacking off in school & skipping too much.
I regret taking advantage of my mom's nice-ness.
I regret not trying in school.
I regret being so fucking stupid.
I wish i can turn back time & redo high school again. I wish i knew in the past that i should have not slack off & try hard enough to get a decent grade. I am so worried that i won't get accepted in college or anywhere else.
what the eff was i thinking back then? oh that it was okay to skip & have fun with my friends. Oh that it was okay to skip and get away with it. Oh that it was okay to skip cause i didn't do my homework. Oh it was OKAY to not listen to my teacher & just talk to my friends. Oh that it was okay to slack off & not do my homework or even study. Oh THAT it was OKAY TO FAIL because its not important. Oh that it was okay to do whatever I want? wtf was i thinking? honestly. i'm so fucking stupid. I've fucking screwed everything up. i fucking regret everything & everything i've done. I just wished i knew not to do that & know what i have to go through now. It have never hit me untill i was out of high school... that i need to get my act together & try. TRY... AT LEAST TRY SOPHIE... why don't i ever listen to my mom or copy my friends; go to class & listen. just listen... try. try to do homeworks & study. that's all.. AND i couldn't do that.. good job. really... good job.